


Rescue mission

by Russian_Fic_Store



Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Dendarii Fleet, Gen, Humor, ImpSec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 13:52:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7620910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Russian_Fic_Store/pseuds/Russian_Fic_Store
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Illian reads Lieutenant Vorkosigan’s report and takes him to account.</p><p>Author: Awaiter<br/>Translated from Russian by MollyGrue</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rescue mission

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Спасательная операция](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7226011) by [Russian_Fic_Store](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Russian_Fic_Store/pseuds/Russian_Fic_Store). 



“Mi-i-iles!” the voice of Imperial Security Chief was akin to growling. “I’ll strangle you right now. With my bare hands!” Illian thrashed the supposed murder tools, Admiral Naismith’s report squeezed tight in his fist.

“But, Sir…” Miles dared to squeak in. “The mission proved to be much more complex, than originally forecasted! And, mind you, the Dendarii fleet suffered zero loss this time! Imperial Security wouldn’t have to reimburse repairs or third party losses!” lllyan squinted, evilly. Miles hastened to continue, “Just direct costs, Sir! No overheads!”

“One hundred thousand marks! Don’t make a dunderhead out of me! It was just a minor errand, not a military expedition!”

“Care to remind you, Sir,» Miles’s tone turned to insinuating, “that the errand, put in words, read…”

“I remember quite well how it was worded. I remember everything, always.” lllyan was on the verge of apoplexy, “To find Vortugarov’s lost luggage! Just luggage!”

“Well, I wish it had been just a gripsack!” Miles took in more air and hastened to forestall the next hate wave spreading from Security Chief. “Lord Vortugarov’s luggage was, in fact, a container with a genetically modified creature!”

lllyan hushed, astonished. Miles pressed on to capitalize his success.

“Her name is Elly! She has absolute ear for music and she can bleat B Flat in fifth octave! And she has silver hair, Sir! Yes, and it is a sheep.”

“A sheep?” It was all, that utterly confused lllyan managed to squeeze out.

“Right you are, Sir! Vortugarov wanted to make a present to his little ninny, but his luggage was lost or stolen on the way. We had to spend about a month in Illyrica space zone, near Kline station to trace the fate of the animal container. There, we realized that the sheep had not just been lost accidentally, she had been outwardly stolen. At the same time you, Sir, gave us an order to relocate to Kshatria border, and I was obliged to send Commander Quinn to search for the unfortunate sheep. Here is her detailed report on the special mission.”

lllyan took the datacube, fiddled it in his hands and asked, incredulously. “You mock me, Miles? You send Elli Quinn to look for the genetically modified sheep named Elly?”

“That’s just a coincidence, Sir! Nobody in the whole fleet…” Miles stuttered.

“Go on,” Simon’s tone turned to dull and listless, which was definitely a good omen.

“Commander Quinn made a huge job. She searched herself and hired hands of various qualifications, her guys really turned turf! Finally, we found not the thugs, but the sheep herself! She suffered neglect, captivity, famine and even rape,” Miles’s voice shuddered, “but we found her! She had been sold to a private zoo on Escobar.”

“You bought it out?” lllyan, once again, peered into reported numerals.

“We had considered it. But, having arrived to the gist of the problem, Commander Quinn and I realized it would be the wrong thing to do. The point is, Elly had developed Stockholm Syndrome. It is when the victim feels sympathy and empathy towards…”

“I know what Stockholm Syndrome is about!» lllyan barked. «Don’t you put wool over my eyes. Which one caught it?”

“Elly the Sheep, Sir! She had been housed into the same pen with a ram she had been initially quite repugnant of, as the zoo janitor said. But later, when Elli found Elly, it had… well… how to put it right… suddenly discovered her happiness in wedlock!”

“In wedlock with?” lllyan suddently deemed he was losing the point of conversation.

“With the ram!”

“What is the name of the ram?” lllyan prompted.

“Thranduil, Sir!” Miles reported.

“Wow!” The Chief commended. “What happened next?”

“While we were looking for Elly, time had gone past. Our captive had taken it to adapt to her new living space, turn into a pet of local children and become a young mother. It would be cruel to snatch her away from her home and bereave her of her family.”

lllyan frowned tiredly.

“Well, we wouldn’t have been the best mercenary fleet if we had failed this errand! We delivered a present to Ambassador’s daughter. Here is a photograph, Sir, have a look. It is the eldest daughter of Elly and Thranduil. We called her Queen. Just Queen. She takes after her mom, if we close eyes on her dad’s elongated horns.”

“And it costs one hundred thousand Barrayaran marks,” lllyan squinted, “The Sheep?”

“Not just an ordinary sheep, Sir! It is very special and unique specimen! But, if we had attempted to export it out alone, Escobar would have charged an outrageous customs duty. So, we bought two hundred sheep and hid little Queen in that herd. This is how the Security came into possession of two hundred sheep, Sir.” Miles finished his tale off-tune.

“I knew, I just knew, there would be one more to it.” lllyan hid the face in the palms. “My God, me among the lambs… My worst nightmare!”


End file.
